Exploring the hearts hollow costs when a part hides.
Newton’s First Law of Motion: “A body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion… will remain in motion… unless acted upon by an outside force”.
Newton’s first law, in part, states: “that a body in motion will remain in motion”. As first principles go, I see a parallel to my experience. A body in emotion also desires to stay in emotion. That emotion for me, right now, is love. I am not gifted at the letting go of it. I do not know how to feign indifference for the love of a life deeply shared. I like being a plural unity – singularity does not suit me and the hollowness of separation from a love, not yet fully savored, is an agony almost beyond description.
But that must be the Arc of Growth. In order to salvage the lesson, that is bathed in the anguish, first must come a ‘finding’. For we are bodies acted upon by outside forces – at least we were meant to be. It is the outside forces that create the Arc of us.
In life, there is either an Arc along which we travel – or there is a flat line. The flat line is without pulse – it is a kind of unbending death. An un-creativity. It is de-evolution at the level of apathy. But not only Life and Growth have their Arc, Evil has its Arc as well. It is vital that I, as an outside force, change the motion of Evils’ Arc. I must remove from evil its’ inertia. Thus, I can help diminish the impact and the ancillary damage and the growing ripples of Evil’s victimhood.
Oddly enough it is the ripples of the Holocaust that have unsettled my world.
I was born into the Dutch Reform Church. I attended a Catholic Kindergarten. Went to a Lutheran 1 – 8, and then a Baptist High School. After High School I attended a Pentecostal college where I roomed with a blind Buddhist… I have heard the many nuanced voices of Deity. Yet last week I found myself in the healing emotional embrace of a Rabbi as I was bluntly impacted by a deeper understanding of the holocaust and its horrors. A subset of humanity that suffered inhuman scarring as a result of a demonic evil that has claimed victims beyond themselves. Acts that have affected emotions past through lineage, and they now affect me.
The absolute soul wrenching anguish perpetrated on this people did not end with individual souls. It had to have affected the way they were able to be loved and the way they loved others. It afflicted the way love was expressed and how they taught loving relationships to their children. It has infected the manor, in which a son or daughter is able to accept another’s committed love… the ripples radiate outward and spread instability and pain across generations and decades.
My grief was over the unimaginable impact crater that the Holocaust inflicted on a particular man. Him and the expanding circle of victims that radiate from the inhuman evils perpetrated on his life. But I know it is not just his life. The ramifications are magnified by the millions of souls who have not actually crossed my path… but the evil of it has! It still does. It has changed the way a generation was able to love. It changed the next generation, whom it raised with the brokenness It tried to love through.
Each of us can be the outside force that stops the momentum of that evil. We can be the inside force that dynamically enhances the impact of the positive emotional arc of healing. I can be that at a personal level.
It was Noah’s “Ark” where two by two the creatures came and rose above the floods of destruction. They emerged as changed creatures onto a different world. Unified at a new level. Made one by the bonding between them. It is between ‘the two’ where we find God. But also life and growth and glory!
Within me is a multi-chambered organ that pulsates with a dynamic force that acts to pump life through me. Each of us can be a multi-leveled dynamic force that can radiate a peace and a health and a repair that is vital to our world. Together we must accept that a love that flows beyond us honors our world and ‘deity’ and our lineage.
Do not misunderstand – it is no easy thing for me to set aside a love. My heart is bruised, that bruised part desires to shelter and hide. The separation of a unity, that at its core felt divine, is a raw and racking force. But if not for the act of that force upon the somebody of who I am, and the lessons offered through that force, the remnant is just pain and scarring. Not growth, Not Redemption. Not insight. Not Healing (for me and my world).
Evil is a black hole. In the center of a black hole is a gravitational singularity, a one-dimensional point which contains a huge mass in an infinitely small space. Acting against that emotional black hole there must be another force in play, A place ‘where the laws of physicality’ cease to operate. It is not easy if the gravitational force of a people is apathy. Within the infinitely small space of prejudice there is so little room to turn around in. To find momentum. And yet as a loving person – I must.
Whether it is Apartheid or Racial Bigotry or Religious Persecution or the Economic snobbery of us vs. them – I must choose to rise against the momentum of evils and to understand the ripples of hurt and to daily choose to be an outside force to bring a healing within.
Within my heart is a hollow place where the love of an imminently precious soul was pried from me by the momentum of inhumanities past. But there needs not be only ‘cost’, instead a growth and understanding and the willingness to turn, in that infinitely small space, and push back against the density of that darkness that hovers and wants its destruction, its impact, its craters and victims, The Hollow Cost of that ends with each of us. The Hollow Cost of it ended, in part, with me.